Mi maternidad: Primer día de escuela fallido.


Tenías un año ocho meses, no querías comer solidos y se nos ocurrió que sería una buena idea que fueras a la esuelita y vieras a otros nenes comer, te darían ganas de tomar las comidas o tal vez de masticar! Nada de eso pasó, pero sí lograste divertirte, conocer amiguitos y aprender canciones.

El primer día de escuela fué muy triste para ti y para mi fué devastador, no me había separado de ti en todo ese tiempo, nunca te había dejado encargado con alguien que no fueran tus abuelas o tíos. Llegue esa mañana con tu papá, yo iba decidida a ser fuerte, después de haber escuchado a aquellas personas (que además no tienen hijos) decirme:
-“no te compliques la vida, no es la gran cosa”
-Seguramente yo exagero y puede que sea verdad, la escuela no es gran cosa, debería ser menos apegada…
Tonta de mi, porque al entregarte con aquella maestra; que comenzaras a llorar y detenerte de mi ropa, me sentí como la peor madre abandonando a su hijo por 3 horas completas. Te entregué y la maestra dijo: “todo estará bien, les llamamos cualquier cosa”.
Me di la vuelta y comencé a llorar, sí, hubiera querido correr contigo y sacarte de ahí, decirles a todos, saben que? me equivoque, mi hijo no esta preparado para la escuela me lo llevo. Pero tal vez la que no estaba preparada era yo y debía dejarte crecer y tener tu espacio.

Nos fuimos a desayunar y tu papá me dió muchas fuerzas, me abrazó y solamente el entendió que era muy difícil para mi, que estaba bien si lloraba o si no quería hablar. Me quedé con un nudo en la garganta todo el día y las horas pasaban tan lentas, me preocupaba que no quisieras comer, que no te conocieran o lo peor que pensaras que jamás volvería por ti.

Pasé por ti después de tres horas y te encontré agotado, habías llorado todo el tiempo, me abrazaste y te cargue. Te sonreí y te dije ” ves? volví por ti, siempre volveré por ti.” Fuimos a una cafetería, me tomé un café helado y a ti te dí un jugo, estabas tan cansado que apenas escuchabas lo que te decía, te tenía en mis piernas y recuerdo haberte dicho que para mi también fué difícil, pero que pasarían los días y amarías la escuela, harías nuevos amigos, correrías pro ese gran jardín que tienen y aprenderías muchas cosas nuevas.

Al final del día me dí cuenta que sí, no era algo tan grave, que te haría bien y a mi también tener tiempo separados y que también estaba bien sentir todo lo que sentí, llorar todo lo que lloré aunque tu me hayas visto tan contenta, con cara de aquí no pasa nada 🙂

Estuviste 3 meses en la escuela, te sacamos porque no nos gustó el sistema, los horarios o las presiones para que aprendieras colores, letras, números. Te hizo bien ir y también dejar de hacerlo, ahora esperaremos a que cumplas tres años y vayas al sistema montessori.


32 pensamientos en “Mi maternidad: Primer día de escuela fallido.

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