Lunes 31 de mayo de 2010
Me desperté asustada, me había perdido una cita con mis amigas para ir a desayunar, pensaba que era tarde.. me quedé dormida!
Pero no, al ver la hora aún tenía todo un tiempo para llegar, para bañarme y arreglar todo. Ví a Kiki, saludé a su papá y me metí a bañar…
Estaba apuradísima así que no tardé nada, a los 20 minutos ya estaba en la puerta de la casa diciendole adios a mi esposo, Kiki miraba la televisión y no quise despedirme para que no llorara.
Algo me faltó, sí, debí haberle dicho que me iba… pero bueno ya tenía que tomar el taxi y disfrutar del desayuno y platica con mis amigas que hacía mas de 6 meses no veía.
Todo el día transucrrió normal, desayuné poco, platique mucho y tomé un taxi de regreso. Al bajarme del coche sentí el agua caer, parecía que se me había roto la bolsa! o me había hecho pipi? subí rápido las escaleras y mi esposo no estaba, no tenía crédito en el celular tampoco. Fuí a la tienda a comprar crédito, llamé y en 5 minutos el estaba por mi.
No estaba tan asustada, creo que estaba preocupada por no saber que había pasado, llamé a mi doctora y dijo que fuera al hospital.
Kiki se quedó dormido con mi suegra…
Llegando al hospital, me revisaron no se veía ninguna ruptura de bolsa, todo estaba sellado, no había dilatación, no salía más liquido.. pero era preocupante que pasara eso, seguramente la rumptura fué en la parte de arriba de la bolsa y en 48 horas iniciaría el trabajo de parto.
Debía estar hospitalizada y debíamos ayudar a madurar los pulmones de Sophie.
Ahí me dí cuenta, no me despedí de Kiki y no porque fuera a pasarme algo malo o que no, regresara a verlo pero no saben lo mucho que me arrepentí tuve que haberle dicho Te amo, vuelvo al rato.. No lo ví en dos días.
No tenía miedo por Sopi, tenía miedo por la situación, por el dinero, por tener que estar en el hospital cuando yo sabía que no lo necesitaba.. (claro, no soy médico y por eso no puedo decidir que hago con mi estado, si me quedo o me voy)
Me dió una profunda nostalgía no ver a Kiki y fué ahí donde entendí que eso pasaría el día del parto y al final creo que está bien. Cada hijo necesita su espacio y su tiempo, no quiero sentirme culpable si un día tengo que dedicarme a Sopi y dejar a Kiki, también pasará por el contrario. No es que deba partirme en dos, debo multiplicarme por dos! Tengo a estos dos hermosos que me necesitan unos dias uno más que otro y ese día era el momento de Sopi, me sacudí la culpa y aunque mi madre trató de que yo no olvidara lo culpable que era por «no cuidarme» y dejar a Kiki tenía la certeza que mi hijo estaba en buenas manos, por algo somos dos padres, su papá estaba con el y yo debía estar con Sopi así que hicimos un buen equipo.
De este día entendí que el tiempo pasa y no perdona a nadie, en un segundo tu vida cambia y si querías dar un beso, un abrazo, decir TE AMO y no lo hiciste.. después será demasiado tarde.
Me dió un gustazo volver a casa, abrazar a Kiki y saber que todos estábamos bien, asustados, estresados, con deudas pero los 4 juntos, sanos y vivos…
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